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chengbang69's Journal
Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.
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2008.06.26 03.35
spiritual life
i am not equipped
i need to go to sunday school
psalm 55:22
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2007.09.18 10.28
sus... napagisip isip ko lang... why am i making a big deal out of what happened...
e sa un ung gusto kong sabihin nung araw na un e...
pero i'm pretty sure wala lang naman sa kanya un e...
If you should ever change your mind
I’ll be there just call my name
Unitl then I’ll be playing the waiting game
makikinig na lang ulet ako ng mga old skul bone thugs hehe...
keep hittin that reefer sendin' me straight to heaven..
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2007.09.08 22.19
Waking ashland - medication
Who am I trying to fool
As the night falls upon me
Who am I trying to be
When this leads to nothing
I need some medication
I need your medication
These choices I've been making
They make me hate myself
Are you there?
How I long to be with you
Are you there?
Listening to my despair
Standing right at the shore
Knowing life is so much more
I said what she wanted to hear
Pretending that my mind was clear
It's a lie
How you wept, how you tried
But I never make the time
Here I go once again
Will this ever end?
I need some medication
I need your medication
These choices I've been making
They make me hate myself
Are you there?
How I long to be with you
Are you there?
Listening to my despair
Standing right at the shore
Knowing life is so much more
Said what she wanted to hear
Pretending that my mind was clear
Don't make the call
Into the room
It's where I fall
Standing right at the shore
Knowing life is so much more
I said what she wanted to hear
Pretending that my mind was clear
Lying, trying to stop this time
I'll stop this time
One step backward chasing after
A voice inside, A voice inside
That knows
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2007.09.08 20.58
Imagine the worst thing you've ever said to a loved one. Now recall the instant you realize you can't take it back. Your stomach drops; your mouth tastes metallic. What is done can't be undone. A short time later you're defiant, feeling that you don't need anyone and will die alone.
di ko alam kung niloloko ko lang ung sarili ko..
pero alam ko di ko ata kaya.. kelangan ko un...
kung pwede lang na ndi na kami matuloy...
ibang iba na sana ngayon..
walang ilangan..
walang pakiramdam na nakakaputa...
parehas naman nteng alam...
sinasabi ko naman na wala na..
pero ang totoo di ko talaga alam...
baka nga tama cla...
pero baka mali ren cla..
tapos na e...
tapos na
tapos...
sana pwede pa...
Mood:  crappy
Music: Forever the sickest kids - breakdown
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2007.08.20 20.00
Kung sakali lang
kung sakali magkatotoo lahat ng plano ko
kung sakali walang maninira ng pangarap ko
kung sakali may tangang magsabi
kung sakali na ndi matuloy
kung sakali na ndi pala pwede
pano kaya?!
di ko alam gagawin ko...
Music: eraserheads - pare ko
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2007.05.10 10.18
near death experience
ast monday... me and my family had a car accident sa may kalawag, Quezon.
nag road trip kami from manila to gen. santos... then gen. santos back to manila...
sobrang enjoy ung mga nangyari... mga tour... swimming etc.
pauwi ako nag drive from gen. santos to davao... after that brother ko na hanggang quezon...
we left gen. santos saturday morning and reached surigao around 9 in the evening... we slept inside our car at the pier because the sched of th ferry boat was around 4:30 am bound to leyte...
we arrived at leyte arounf 8:30 in the morning... droved to samar non stop.... we reached allen,samar around 6 in the evening just in time for the 7:30 pm last trip to sorsogon...
we arrived at sorsogon around 9 pm same day.... as soon as we were able to get inside our car we drove... around 3 am we decided to stop and rest... we already reached quezon province by that time...
around 6 in the morning... my brother and mother woke up while me and my father were still sleeping inside our car..
my brother was worried na baka ma-stuck kami sa traffic sa SLEX at EDSA so drive siya agad na di man lang nag coffee or hilamos ng face...
aroung 6:05 my mom told my brother na ilalagay lang nya ung phone ng dad ko sa tabi nya... after 30 seconds.. more or less nakit ng mom ko na biglang na steer to the left ng brother ko ung car all the way to the side of the road na ang takbo namen ay around 110 km/h...
bumunggo kami sa poste ng meralco then our car turned upside down.. tulog ako when this happened... nagising na lang ako bigla na madilim na ang paligid ko tapos tinutulak ako ng kuya ko dahil naka dagan na siya sa akin.... bigla ko daw sinabi na
"kuya patayin mo ung makina" my brother was able to do this..
I looked behing my back at sobrang iba ung nakita ko.... I saw my dad na unconscious at puro blood sa kanyang mukha...
the I said" basagin mo ung salamin", but my mom said na" wag at baka pumunta sa ating ung mga bubog!"
our car revo.. being manual and almost everything manual...my brother was able to open the window.... then we heard voices coming from the outside of the car.... and we were rescued and was rushed to a nearby provincial hospital.
all of this happend na ang buo kong akala ay nananaginip lang ako...
I came to my senses nasa hospital na kami... I saw my shirt and pants na puro dugo... pag tingin ko sa paligid ko nagkaka gulo lahat and I saw my brother na kaupo sa isang chair na tinatahi ung kanyang lips...
then I stood up... looked at the mirror... leche... onte na lang at mahuhulog na ang nose ko... sobrang nahihilo na ako.. at nakikita ko na sobrang daming dugo ang lumalabas sa akin...
wala akong nararamdaman na sakit..
I sat down... sobrang di ako makapaniwala sa nangyayari... I took out my cell phone... may zipper ung pockets ng pants ko kaya cguro di tumalsik... I texted only two people... my tita Ching and a very close family friend ate ille...
I wrote..." naaksidente po ang family namen... tulungan nyo po kami.."
just that message... then ate ille replied... " jem anong nangyari. asan kayo?"... I was only able to say na nasa quezon po kami.. naaksidente po kami.. "
then tinawag na ako ng doctor na umupo daw ako... then bigla akong tinurukan ng anesthesia sa nose....then biglang tinahi na ung nose ko back to its original place...
I looked around... I saw my dad na may 4-5 inches na tahi sa kanyang noo, sobrang relieved ako nung nakita ko ung dad ko na buhay ... my mom wasn't able to move.. she was only able speak...
dala pala ng mom ko ung phone nya at naka contact ren siya sa ibang tao...
we stayed sa st. peter hospital. then around 8 in the evening via an ambulance, we transferred to captitol medical center in quezon city, metro manila. halos 5 hours ung trip...
when we arrived we recieved better medical treatment.. and I was finally released from the stress mentally, emotionally, physically and spirtitually.
nung first day nung accident.. sobrang galit ako sa kuya ko at kay god...
sobrang tindi na di ko kinakausap kuya ko at naiiyak ako dahil ayaw mawala sa mind ko ung nakita kong itsura nung dad ko habang nasa loob pa kami nung car
but now I was able to forgive and forget what had happened... sobrang strong ng family namen at ayos naman..
right now:
ako: out-patient... just a surgery sa nose
brother: major sprain sa ankles... surgery sa mouth. displaced teet, but kaya daw mabalik according sa dentist.
mom: pina cast/cement ung right leg.. around 1-2 months daw ung healing process... but were still thinking of the other option na operation... lalagyang ng steel para mas mabilis ung healing..
dad: negative sa lahat ng mga xray, CT scan, MRI... etc. buti at nag karoon ng malaking open wound sa ulo ung dad ko dahil kung hindi ay baka daw naging blood clotting sa brain ang nangyari and might lead to coma or death...
Music: sino sikat
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2007.04.21 21.45
musicality ko...
| Your Taste in Music: | 
80's Rock: Highest Influence
90's Alternative: Highest Influence
90's Rock: Highest Influence
Heavy Metal: Highest Influence
80's Alternative: High Influence |
sobrang adek ako ngayon sa sino sikat?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Music: sino sikat? - so blue
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2007.04.11 00.49
addicted to maxwell!!! haha
You gave me this beating baby
This rhythm inside
And you made me feel good and feel nice and feel loved
Give me paradise
Sobrang adik ako ngayon kay MAXWELL... sobrang ganda ng mga kanta... ang sexy, na pang chill out haha... ganda pa ng mga drum and bass lines...
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2007.02.24 19.28
alam mo ba kung bakit?
yan na ba yon?
tugon ko sa iyo
noong nakaraang sabado
isang gomang tsinelas...
iba't ibang kulay
at may bulaklak
inilakad mo sa harapan ko
ipinagmalaki ang itsura
ipinagmalaki ang presyo
umupo tayo tapos nun
nagmasid masid
ang dami mong sinabi
ang dami mong nilahad
pero ang nasa loob ko
demonyo ka
pero ang nasa loob ko
manhid ka
napailing na lang ako
ano ba yan kapatid,
ano ba ang
nasa isip mo?
tugon ko bigla sa iyo
bakit tol? bakit?
ang sagot mo
bakit mo binili
yang tsinelas
na dapat hapunan
na ng isang pamilya
yan ang nasa utak ko
ikaw na pinag pala
binigyan ng lubos...
mamahagi ka naman
ang nasabi ko
hangga't may nagugutom
hangga't may naghihirap
hangga't may isang tao
sa balat ng lupa
na hindi makabili
ng havaianas
mamahagi ka naman...
ang dapat sinabi ko
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2006.12.16 00.54
ako ren... christmas wishlist...
sobrang dami ng gusto ko pero... xempre pipiliin ko ung feasible...
1. Drum stick - mejo 2 months na akong walang drumstick at ang ginagamit ko ay ang mga putol kong sticks...
2. BULB para sa lamp ko - napundi ung bulb e...
3. TV w/cable - wala akong TV sa kwarto ko e... pumupunta pa ako sakwarto ng kuya ko para makanuod..
4. vacation full of fun and excitement - ayaw ko maulit ung previous vacation ko... halos 5 days akong ndi lumabas ng kwarto ko... nakaharap lang sa pc at nag eexplore ng planets....
5. new friend - para masaya diba... bagong kakilala!
</ hr>
na-GG ko nga pala ung rels presentation namen kanina!!! halos 5hrs akong nasa william hall...
I'm excited sa kung ano mangyayari ngayong vacation...
GUSTO ko ng action... sana BIGYAN ako ahihihihi
Ayus ung cream cheese doughnut ng gonuts... pero honey glazed pa ren ng krispy kreme!!!
sana PUMASA ako ng INTROSE!!!!!!!!!!
waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
Mood: thirsty
Music: bakit ba - siakol
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2006.12.10 01.52
cozy sunday morning
sarap ng gising ko ngayon... umuulan.. ang lamig... ayaw ko pang tumayo pero it's already quarter to 10.. at ang ganung oras pag ndi ka pa bumangon sa bahay namen, considered as tamad ka sa nanay at tatay ko.
I'm now going to start studying for our final battle with the horrible and gruesome accounting of doom... hope I pass this test and subject... I don't want to disappoint my parents.. sobra sobra ng sakit sa ulo binibigay ko sa kanila... mapasaya ko man lang sila kahit minsan masaya na ren ako....
haaaaaaayzzzzz anyway... ang saya makinig ng mga oldies but goodies na songs... I've just downloaded the top 100 pop love songs... para naman a change... medyo dumadating nanaman ako sa stage na nag sasawa sa rock and I mean all rock... so kinig muna ng rNb, hip hop, jazz and pop...
< /hr>
I'm now going to study.... komo esta el mucho senyor?
Mood: lamig....
Music: how deep is your love - bee gees
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2006.12.06 14.49
the week prior to the last week in skul yr 2007-2007 2nd term
matatapos na den ang hell week... isang accounting of doom na lang ang nagaantay sa aken sa finals week... pero sobrang delikado kami nina pao... wag sana maGG... sabi nga ni pao e... "kita kits na lang sa convergys tapos mag banda pag walang trabaho" or ung nakakatawang balak "tara mag TNT na lang tayo sa saudi tapos lipat lang lang ng lipat ng bahay para ndi mahuli"
I don't know why pero... wala na talaga e... "it's over".. sabi nga ni joyce... "baka ndi talaga kayo mag jjive" so wala na talaga...
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2006.11.22 00.01
Lovers?!
You are The Lovers
Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.
The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.
Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
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2006.11.10 15.08
Total Domination
wala lang... sabi sa akin nina tina and joyce na mag sulat naman daw ako para mag cComent sila... o well... hmmm ano pwede ma sulat... Pasicatchan ay next week na... and I don't care if we win or lose I just want to play for someone :) malapit na ren pala hillsong... may pang bili na ako ng max brenner kaso NAPUTOL bigla sticks ko so kelangan bumili w/c costs 700 bucks... W/C means WALA nanaman akong pambili at kelangan ko mag ipon ULET!!! grabe sobrang unexpected ung pagkakaputol ng sticks ko... :( sana by the time mag Hillsong may pambili na ako ng max brenner at may pangGastos sa 21...
been thinking about the 25k call center and naisip ko lang... may pera ka nga, may pangGastos ka.. pero the time with your family and love ones can't be matched by any amount... kung iisipin at mag wwork hard lang tayo e madali lang makakuha ng 25k.. pero ung time of christmas comes only ONCE a year.. and isipin nyo ren na itong time of year naten aAlalahanin ung pagdating ni Jesus here on earth halos 24/7 nya tayong inaAlagan and napProtectahan... so it's just right na magbigay tayo ng kahit isang araw man lang sa kanya... ndi na nga nakakasimba pag sunday tapos pati pa day of commemoration e mababaliwala.. parang mali naman ata un diba... anyway un lang...
Mood: happy ese
Music: pantera - domination
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2006.10.19 00.12
counfused..... o_-
dunno wat to do... ayaw kong mamangka sa dalawang ilog...... need help... parehas malumanay ung dalawang ilog e...
Mood:  help...
Music: smiling faces - incognito
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2006.10.13 15.53
I'm so happy right now... hillsong here I come!
mukhang manunuod ako ngayon ng hillsong live in manila!!! kasi may kasama na ako :) baka joyce, alas gusto nyo sumama.. 550 - 800 ung ticket...
haaaayyyy... ang bait nya grabe!!! ang sarap kausap.. ndi nkakatamad! ndi lulutang sa kalawakan ang usapan!!!
Mood:  sobra sobra!!!
Music: face to face - sevendust
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2006.10.10 16.41
there's something about (her)
hmmm I really like her.. it's totally different from before... sabi nga ni pao.. "tapos na ang panahon na iyot ang habol mo"... come to think of it.. parang kahapon lang na tuwang tuwa ako pag nakikita ko kras ko nung bata pa ako.. ngayon ewan.. I'm just happy pag nakikita ko xa.. I'm not thinking of any weird fantasies... just plain looking and admiring.. oh gad... sana lang talaga God will work out... sana ito na nga... :)
Mood: yehey!
Music: night's silence
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2006.08.13 14.33
Back to School
for 4 days susupended ako... and now I'm back to school. for 4 days I practiced playing defense of the ancients haha (DOTA) poh ito... amp. Enjoy din... nakasama ko mga HS prends ko na patapon ang mga buhay... nakuha ko na word at ang sarap gamitin... "Tol ang dumi", "tigil tilgan mo yang kakasuntukan mo" at "shhhhh!!!" hehehe... hmmmm finals is coming and the bomb.... September babies bash... parang gusto kong kuhanin si sponge bob na host ng party... hmmmm tagal na ren na nag post ako d2 e...
Mood: sarap ng gising
Music: maroon 5 - sunday morning
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2006.06.26 20.58
MIXER!!!!
YEY!!!!! may mixer na kami!!! sa wakas! makakarecord na kami ng maganda!!!!
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2006.05.22 09.04
first day punk..
haaaaay balik pasukan nanaman.... ndi na ako makakapunta muli sa tsina... hahaha grabe sobrang adik na adik na ako sa mga kanta ni cynthia alexander, sobrang nakakarelax para akong nasa eutopia pag pinakikinggan ko... sana umabot ung musicality ko sa ganitong level... haaaay gig sa biyernes na ndi pa nakakapraktis... maging sulet kaya itong gig na ito? kasi kung katulad lang ito nung sa premiere thx e... WAG NA LANG!!! hahahaha gtg na may clase pa ako in about 2hrs and 25 minutes...
Mood: sarap makinig
Music: cynthia alexander - turquiose blue
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2006.04.25 18.47
Tugish ±akish
uhhhh.... takte ayus tong araw na to!!!! umalis ako ng bahay nag practice kasama ang isa kong banda and guess what.... wala pala akong dalang wallet!!!!! ang dala ko lamang na pera ay nagkakahala ng ;quote and ;quote 1 8 pesos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mood: jumpy
Music: pearl jam - alive
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2006.03.05 18.13
Silverstein
"Smile In Your Sleep"
When I'm lying in your bed
Play the motions through my head
You know that I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
And I have reasons to believe that
I'm not the only one you spend this time with, but I'll stay...
[Chorus:]
You say, you're weak,
You won't let me down,
You won't let me down.
You lie through your teeth,
You smile in your sleep,
You smile in your sleep.
When we met
You said we were the same,
You know that we're different, we're different,
And all the times you promised me that
Everything would work out in the end, you were gravely mistaken
[Chorus]
You lie, you lie, you lie, you lie
You lie through your teeth
You won't let me down,
You lie, I deserve better than this
I dream of steel. Maroon and warm,
Your end (your end), your end (your end)
You gasp for air.
I'll see this through, I'll see through you,
Your pale (your pale), your pale (your pale),
Your pale blue eyes.
When you're lying in your bed,
Your eulogy's been read
You know that it's fitting, you lie.
[Chorus]
You smile, you smile, you smile, you smile
I deserve better than this
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chengbang69's journal